Faith

Today, I woke up quite early, went to the hospital, spent about two hours doing ward rounds with the palliative care team, clerked a patient and went home with an indescribable feeling.

For some reasons, I kept thinking of what I’ve witnessed during the rounds. Most patients that I saw today have life-threatening illness. They may only have few years to live or months or even weeks. Can you imagine that? What would you do if it happens to you or your loved ones? What would be your reactions?

We know that when people get bad news, they react differently. Some with anger, frustration, denial, crying etc and these are some of the emotions that I captured today.

“What have I done wrong?

“Never start smoking! Look at me now”

"Why me? It's not fair!"

"How can this happen to me?"

“God has punished me, real hard…”

“What could I have done to prevent this from happening?”

“I want to end this, why bother with anything?"

"I can fight this, have some faith and everything will be OK."

As a normal human being, I guess it is absolutely normal to feel any of those feeling. And if we are their carer, how can we respond to their emotion appropriately and sensitively? I have no answer to that….

And one of the patients says:

“I’m not that religious but I have a religion. Believe me, as long as you have a religion, it will make you stronger during your hard times. So, please have one. Have faith. A little faith will make you feel a lot better.”